If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, and we don’t speak the same language, then we need to find a way to get on the same page.
When it comes to relationships and the terms that define them, do we ourselves even know what those definitions are?
College is supposed to be the time where we get to know our own personal likes and dislikes, and we not only enrich our minds with book studies, but our knowledge of the opposite sex as well.
With the different levels of experience on this campus, be it sexual or interactive, and with all of us mixing from different backgrounds what exactly do the relationship terms mean?
In this day and age there are hundreds of terms out there. The basic ones are friends, friends with benefits, dating, and finally the relationship status. Every single person on this campus is looking for something different so here are our new dictionary definitions for these terms.
“Friends” are people who you hang out with on a regular basis, and you can talk to without feeling any pressure sexually or emotionally. You can have friends of the opposite sex and not have it go any farther then that. I am living proof of this experience.
I have hundreds of guy friends and last time I checked we were just that: friends. I can go to them and talk to them about anything, and they don’t try and get into my pants. They don’t try and take me on dates, we just hang out and chat and usually give each other advice about situations that occur in life.
“Friends with benefits” is taking this to the next level. Girls pay attention. When a guy tells you he wants to be your friend — with benefits, it means he doesn’t want a relationship. He doesn’t want to consider you for marriage material — he just wants to get into your pants. Guys it is the same way for us girls as well. However, you CANNOT let feelings get involved without talking to the other person first. And if you do develop feelings and the other person does not want a relationship with you, you can’t be upset.
I hear it all the time. Girls or guys upset because their screw buddy doesn’t want to be with them. Well you signed up for the job. A frog can’t be a prince, no matter what the story tells us.
If you are “dating” someone, it implies that you have been on more then one date with someone, that you are talking, and that you are both interested in each other. However, there is no physical commitment or attachment in this situation. And yes it is possible to date more then one person at a time, maybe not in the bubble that we all know as The Merce, but that is what Dallas, Greenville, Plano, Mesquite, and other surrounding cities are for.
Ladies and gentlemen don’t commit yourself to one person. Chances are if they haven’t made a move yet, they won’t. Play hard to get. If you put all your eggs in one basket then you set yourself up for heartbreak. Plus, if you are looking for a diamond then look at all your choices, don’t just settle for something because it’s easy.
Finally we have the conversation of what a “relationship” is and what both parties are expecting of each other. This is when the two people involved need to sit down, and (here is a foreign word) communicate with each other on what each person expects. From the knowledge that I have gained, I personally know you don’t have to settle down just because you are in a relationship.
You don’t have to be together to go out to the bars. That is what trust is for, and by this point you should have already been friends, been dating and that should have developed. We obviously know that dating someone else while you’re in a relationship is considered cheating and it hurts people, so don’t do it. But this is the part where it becomes about the both of you and not just what one of you wants. This is the section where you have to be willing to compromise and help each other, not just yourself.
I hope these definitions have helped the students of this school, and if you have any questions, or comments — or anything really, just e-mail me. I would love to know what you think.
But remember, we are here first and foremost to expand our minds.
E-mail Renee Caldwell at
theeasttexan@gmail.com