When I was in the Army we were taught to live by the seven values – loyalty, duty, respect, selfless, service, honor, integrity and personal courage. These still are the values I hold significant to my character. Most people value these qualities in their friends and their co-workers.
One of the values I have recently noticed that some people lack is loyalty. The word loyal has many definitions. The Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary defines loyal as, “unswerving in allegiance: as (a) faithful in allegiance to one’s lawful sovereign or government (b) faithful to a private person to whom fidelity is due (c) faithful to a cause, ideal, custom, institution, or product.” Loyalty is obviously the action of being loyal.
There are certain rules in a friendship that involve loyalty that you may not recognize. For instance, I believe that you shouldn’t date your friends ex’s … especially if it’s recent or was serious. I know that sometimes you can’t help who you fall in love with, but you should have enough respect for your friend to ask if dating their ex will hurt them.
Another example of loyalty in a friendship is not breaking plans with your friends in order to make other plans. When I make plans with my friends I try not to double book myself and I try and keep those plans. Friends do understand that things come up; however, if you broke your plans of a movie night last week just so you could go hang out with the guy you like or your boyfriend, then that is a case of not being a loyal friend.
I have done that before and let me tell you I almost lost my best friend because of it. I think the worst feeling in the world was when he called me out, and told me how upset he was. I realized at that moment that I had broken one of my key values – loyalty.
The value I hold closest to my heart is integrity and in order to have integrity you have to have loyalty. A loyal friend sticks with you no matter what happens between the two of you. My best friend and I have been through so much together, at the time it seemed we wouldn’t make it through and there were times that we weren’t loyal to each other. But, now we look back at those moments and laugh. Our friendship is better now than it was in the past.
The bonds of friendship should be stronger and more important then any sisterhood, work related things and relationships with the opposite sex. If you are in a serious relationship then those bonds of friendship should be in there too.
Being loyal doesn’t stop there. It applies to work, it applies to fun,and it basically applies to life in all of its unique corners. If you say you’re going to do something for or with someone, then you should do it. Period. End of story. No questions asked.
If you are feeling like you have no friends, maybe you should check out the people you have been trying to hang out with. Sometimes the true friends we have aren’t who we thought they were!
Contact Renee at theeasttexan.com