What rarely wears a costume and attempts to score candy from each house at least three times every Halloween? Every trick-or-treater over 13.
It’s not that I don’t love tossing candy in the bags of the hundred princesses and Supermans that knock and scream out the most overused phrase of Oct. 31. It’s when Superman looks old enough to have a baby’s mama, and his princess flashes me her tongue stud that I begin to wonder.
Even worse are the high school and college age people who don’t bother to wear a costume at all-opting for sweat pants and Nikes. For those unsure of the age cut-off for such an adventure, the following list is for you.
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10 Signs that you’re too old to be trick-or-treating:
You drive yourself to the rich neighborhoods … legally.
The costume you splurged for at Party City has the word “sexy” in its title.
Instead of actually coming up with a costume, you walk around to houses saying “I’m a student!”
When people leap from the dark trees in front yards to houses, you keep walking instead of screaming bloody murder. No old guy in a homemade zombie costume is going to keep you from that full-sized Snickers.
Shaving is on your costume “to-do” list.
One of the kids mistakes you for his dad when coming back down the sidewalk of a house.
Instead of trading candy later with friends, you ask old ladies at their front doors “What else ya got?”
Your wife/husband calls to see when you’ll be home for dinner.
You know what the “Thriller” dance is.
You can enjoy your candy with a beer … legally.
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So, if you’ve surpassed the seventh grade, or frequent the bars of Commerce most other nights, it may just be time to pick a new pasttime for Halloween.
For those wanting alternatives to choose from, pay a visit to Thrillvania in Terrell, or check your MyLeo login page to participate in several events happening right here on campus.