“I’m your biggest fan. I’ll follow you until you love me.”
Whenever I hear the Lady Gaga song, “Paparazzi”, I immediately think of my boyfriend’s most recent ex-girlfriend. I’ll call her B.
B is crazy. She is a “crazy B,” if you catch my drift. But this “crazy B” is not one of a kind, no matter how insane her tactics get. In fact, there are a lot of this species all over the place. They get the boot for one reason or another in a relationship, and they refuse to let it go. The most adamant B will even reject or deny the break-up.
Gentlemen, I’m writing to warn you of the “crazy B,” because they can make your life miserable if you ever try to get in and then out of a relationship with one. Ladies, this one’s for you too. The “crazy B” will do anything to sabotage the current relationship you have with “their man!”
There are a few signs you can spot in a relationship, which will point to the evolution of a “crazy B.” The first one I like to call gravitation syndrome.
This type of girl will very quickly make her man the center of her life, her world, her universe, and that’s when the gravitation starts. Maybe you notice she is calling or texting you every few hours. It turns into every hour quite suddenly. You may get multiple (fifteen or so) text messages in a row before you can even respond to one, most of them questioning the status of your relationship and wondering why you haven’t responded in the last ten seconds.
Then she’s showing up at your place without warning as the “attraction” (gravitation) grows. Before you know it, this “crazy B” is literally orbiting around your body. You will have to come up with excuses just so you won’t be spending every minute with her.
As the “crazy B” evolves into one step below full-blown stalker, you will inevitably try to end the relationship. Little do you know, this is only the next phase of your “relationship,” which she thinks is just going through a rough patch.
B may show up at your apartment claiming to need something back. When you toss whatever it is to her, she will claim to need to use the restroom. This is the “When you give a B a cookie syndrome” as I call it.
In this phase, a “crazy B” will do anything to get your attention. She will talk to all your friends about you. She’ll “run into you” at places only you would be. This part is annoying, but tolerable, and progresses into the final stage.
Now, she will do anything to get your sympathy. The “crazy B” will try to trap you with pity. She will fake illness, a tragedy in the family, or injury. B may even claim to have gotten in a car wreck, because you wouldn’t text her back and she was so distraught she couldn’t concentrate and plowed into the back of someone.
When it gets its worst, a true “crazy B” may fake pregnancy. Her only thought is to ensnare the man she wants, drawing whatever negative attention comes along with it.
Why would a girl so desperately want to be with someone that wants nothing to do with her? How is that even close to a normal relationship?
I will never completely understand the psyche of a “crazy B;” however, I have done my best to explain it to you, readers. Don’t say you’ve never been warned.