I overheard a person very close to me on the phone the other day tell his friend, “I’m only a jerk to you when you need me to be,” and I don’t know what it was, but a switch flipped inside my brain.
Sometimes, people just need learn how to say no, and I am one of those people.
Growing up, I was one of those people who was everyone’s friend. I liked making people smile, even more so when I could make them laugh.
While I loved having so many friends and making people smile every day, the only person I couldn’t make smile was myself. I didn’t know how to tell people no. I was willing to do whatever it took to make someone happy, even if that meant risking my own happiness. I’d play the mediator between friends when they were fighting, pay for them when they didn’t have money and did everything to help them but give them the shirt right off my back – but only because they never asked.
I hit the point where I was stretching myself so thin that I was having nervous breakdowns, but continued to ignore it for the sake of pleasing other people. I wasn’t happy, but continued to make myself believe that if my friends were happy I could deal with a little bit of unhappiness.
Screw that. I’ve finally hit that point in my life that I have to start thinking of myself. I’ve got to start looking out for myself and doing what is best for me and what makes ME happy, even if it makes some of my friends unhappy with me.
You need to ask yourself if you are one of those people. And if you are, you have to make that transition. I’m not telling you to start being a jerk to your friends all the time, but you have to start doing what is best for your happiness, your career and your future.
Stop letting people take advantage of you and walk all over you. Stop being nice to people just because you think it will make them happy. You have to start thinking about your own wants and needs and let everyone else take care of themselves. We’re adults now, and our relationships should reflect that.