I’m out of shape.
Being an English major I get slightly more sunlight than a computer science major, but the same amount of exercise. I’ve had gone to my apartment’s gym off and on for months, but I’m pretty sure I was only maintaining my weight rather than actually losing any. So fed up with fumbling blindly in the world of fitness I did what we all do in the academic world when we don’t know something… I paid someone to teach me.
Unless you enter into the kinesiology or agriculture department there is a good chance that your senior or graduate years are not spent in activities that involve a lot of physical exertion.
There is no 100-meter Non-Euclidean Geometry Dash for the math department or 18th Century French Novelist Touch Football for the English department. We can all be grateful they don’t take our weight at orientation and then do another weigh-in when we receive our degrees.
In our precious free moments we would try to be active, but to be honest this isn’t exactly a hopping town. It would be fair to say that a sign notifying travelers that they are entering our little town could read “Welcome to Commerce, There isn’t much to do here…” because it’s said often enough.
Fortunately our university does offer ways to get what we need to stay healthy. In the same way that the International Space Station does, the University has added our worldly needs to the campus to keep us in shape.
The Morris Recreation Center is a top notch gym that caters to all of the physical exercises we need with up-to-date equipment. Although my petition to add the giant hamster wheel from 2001: A Space Odyssey has gone unheard.
For the bargain price of $168 dollars a student trainer will show me the way to personal fitness.
I wasn’t too picky about the whole student vs. staff dilemma, if they only knew five things about working out they knew five times as much as I did.
Looking at the machines used to build various muscles one thing has become clear. When the inquisition was dismantled there was obviously a great deal of out-of-work torturers in the world with a lot of surplus torture devices. Trends change, farmer switch crops, police go into private security, and torturers designed the wellness industry. I can imagine some industrious man thinking, “The best part is they’ll do it to themselves now, and they’ll pay us to let them do it. Brilliant!”
History aside, my trainer is very good, which is what I hear about all the trainers down at the MRC. Most trainers are flexible to your schedule, and if not they’ll find you one that is. I would recommend it to anyone who is serious about getting in shape.
Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday I willingly elect to wake up at 7 a.m. and haul myself down the Rec Center so I can have a better understanding of exactly how out-of-shape I am.
It’s like something out of The Matrix. “Why do my legs hurt?” I ask, Morpheus leans over and whispers, “Because you’ve never used them before.”