Everyone wants to be famous.
Acclaimed journalist Bill Moyers, in his interview with Joseph Campbell, a comparative mythologist, said that, “We seem to worship celebrities today, not heroes.”
“Yes, and that’s too bad,” Campbell said. “A questionnaire was once sent around one of the high schools in Brooklyn which asked, ‘What would you like to be?’ Two thirds of the students responded, ‘A celebrity.’ They had no notion of having to give of themselves in order to achieve something.”
“Just to be known,” Moyers said.
“Just to be known, to have fame – name and fame,” Campbell said. “It’s too bad.”
It is too bad. But there is nothing wrong with wanting to be famous. Hell, I think everyone would enjoy the trappings of celebrity. And that’s why shows like American Idol; America’s Got Talent; So You Think You Can Dance; My Mom Says I’m Talented; I’m a Rock Star, Dammit; I’m Better Than You and countless others are so popular.
I’m not much of a fan of reality shows, although I do try to catch American Idol when I have the chance. It’s not the competition that I like, because who wants to watch a bunch of kids who sound alike sing karaoke songs? No, I like the kids who think they can sing when they actually suck monkey scrotum. I’d rather listen to someone scrape their nails on a chalkboard while two cats are in the corner “gettin’ it on” than listen to these people sing.
DISCLAIMER: I can’t sing, and I have never claimed I was a good singer. So don’t write me angry letters asking me where I get off making fun of these kids. I’ll tell you where I get off: in my own bed!
But that’s neither here nor there (it’s actually in West Halls). The point is that I don’t go on Idol, claim I’m a fabulous singer and then torture America with what I would graciously call my singing voice. I do my singing in the shower, where it belongs!
Another part of the show I enjoy is when the contestants come out of the tryouts crying like little girls. I love that! Call me mean-spirited if you will, but there is nothing better than watching people have their hopes and dreams destroyed on national television. It gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling deep in my heart. And sometimes these kids deserve it!
Some of these contestants can’t get over how talented and great they are. They think that the Idol judges are going to declare them the best singers ever, sign them to a record deal and give them millions of dollars.
Everyone is looking for instant notoriety these days. I blame society, which is a nicer way of saying that I blame you. Because you are to blame! You buy these idiotic pop albums, watch celebrity gossip shows and demand that everything be handed to you on a silver platter this instant! You also probably apply for instant credit as you eat instant oatmeal or instant pudding.
But the real world doesn’t work that way. Not everyone was made to be an American idol. Not everyone was made to be famous. That’s why I say bravo to the American Idol judges. They are doing this country a favor by telling us how much we suck.
E-mail Michael at thetruthandotherlies1@gmail.com