Editor’s note: This week, Editor-in-Chief Joey Dean is a special contributor to The Truth and Other Lies because, quite frankly, he is “The Chief” and can do whatever the hell he wants.
Joey: I was watching The Late Show with David Letterman on Monday night with special guest, Democratic presidential hopeful, Barack “The Rock…star” Obama. His demeanor was confident. Obama was saying all the right things to garner the applause from the audience.
Michael: I love Letterman. Paul reminds me of local radio host Mark Chapman.
Joey: Then it hit me. Our next president reminds me of a WWE superstar.
Michael: Wait … what?
Joey: That’s right, I said next president because I really don’t see any sort of opposition from Hillary “Hil-Dog” Clinton or smooth talking southerner, “Dirk Diggler” himself, John Edwards. I really like “Mr. Under The Radar” Gov. Bill Richardson but he just doesn’t have the charisma of … but I digress.
Michael: Happens to the best of us.
Joey: Back to the squared circle, there are some striking similarities between Dewayne “The Rock” Johnson and “The Rock…star” Obama. Neither of them take crap from the bad guys and aren’t afraid to lay the smack down when necessary. But they are fair and do not jump into conflict without getting hit with a steel chair. BAM!
Michael: So you’re saying that “The Barack” is going to give the “Barack Bottom” of truth to the voters as he raises “The Eyebrow” of justice upon his opponents and drops “The People’s Elbow” of the American Way to the evildoers?
Joey: Something like that. Now, if you aren’t familiar with rasslin,’ let me fill you in. “The Rock” is a charismatic, confident competitor that tells people to stick objects sideways right up their candy-asses. He tells the other rasslers to know their role and shut their mouths to intimate. Come to think of it, sounds like Dubya “The Decider” Bush or Dick “The Human Heart Attack” Cheney…a dynamic tag team that together form “The Gas Attack.”
Michael: Sounds smelly. Like “black gold.” You know, “Texas tea”.
Joey: Hall…iburton…yeah! Are you hyped? I can’t wait for the spectacle of what is yet to come. The Republican Rumble. The main event features “The Morally Ambiguous Patriot” Rudy Giuliani versus “The Straight Talker” John McCain.
Michael: I’ve heard that the special guest referee is going to be Arnold “The Govenator” Schwarzenegger. I wonder if he can remain unbiased since he can’t run for president.
Joey: The Democratic Caucus-mania will feature our hero Barack taking on all comers in “The Primary Cage Match of Doom.” Will he be victorious? I hope so…or I will cry.
Michael: Does anyone seriously give a damn? I mean, the NBA Playoffs are about to start!
Joey: Not really, if ya smell what the Barack…is cooking!
Michael: You’re such a wiener.
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