Above the Law

In light of recent events in my life, I feel compelled to bring up a somewhat touchy subject: the loss of a loved one.

In the past two semesters, I have lost two good friends I have known more than 15 years. One of them committed suicide about four months ago, and the other passed away from unknown causes about two weeks ago.

These events have had very negative effects on my schoolwork and personal life, and I have suffered from the grief in both areas.

Losing someone who is close to you is hard enough, but when you combine the pressures of school, personal and work commitments, it can be too much to bear sometimes. Everyone has different levels of being able to deal with grief and loss, and some of us simply shut down.

I allowed my grief to get the better of me, and I shut down for an entire week of my life. I did not answer phone calls or e-mails, and I didn’t sleep much. Now I am finding myself playing catch-up in every area of my life, and it is simply adding to my already high stress load.

Hindsight is always much clearer, and seeing how badly this loss affected me, I realize now I had many resources available to me through A&M-Commerce that would have helped me a lot if I had utilized them.

In the Student Services building, there are counselors who will meet with you confidentially. It can help a lot to process things with someone you do not know. The counselors have been through these situations with other students before and should be able to help you through the process.

I also had many friends and family available who wanted to help me out if I would have let them. Just to be able to get the feelings out to someone who cared would have been a great help to me. Sometimes friends can surprise you with just the right words in a time of need.

Another option would be to go to a professor you are close to or respect a lot and speak with them about the situation. Many of the professors here are very intelligent and have been through similar situations themselves and might be able to help you process some of the emotions.

I know the feelings of loss, especially while in college, can be very hard to deal with. Sometimes you may not get to grieve the way you would otherwise, and it can hurt you. This is what happened to me, and I am sure it will happen to someone else.

Many students will be at this university for several years. During your tenure here there is always a chance that something like a death in the family or the loss of a dear friend could occur, and I believe it helps to know of the services and options available to you.