Conversational confusion leads to misinterpretation by some

Let me preface this by saying I am by no means a relationship expert. I can probably tell between right ways and wrong ways of conducting any sort of relationship between two people, but that only goes so far. To me, this is more about common sense and decency than anything else.

The other day I walked to the café in the library with a female co-worker, a very dear friend of mine who is in a relationship with a great guy. When we walked in, I noticed a man had made a comment toward her, but I only thought the two must have been acquainted. We both left with our drinks, and she jokingly told me that I could have "really helped her out back there." After thinking for a moment, I realized she was talking about the man in the café.

Apparently, as I was preparing my tea, he had continued trying to talk to my friend, attempting to strike up a conversation in a manner that insinuated he was interested in her. Effectively, he was trying to "pick her up." I asked my friend what she did in response, and she said she simply looked the other way, pretending to not hear him over the buzz of a blender.

This struck my interest. My friend has always been nice to me, and I wondered why she would ever feel the need to actively ignore some guy in a café in order to avoid a simple conversation. Then again, being a man, I know what this guy was after. He wanted a response, something that said ‘This girl cares that I exist and that I am talking in her general direction.' I knew what that would mean to him, regardless of whether or not he had a right to feel that way.

It's also worth mentioning the manner in which this guy was going about getting my friend's attention. Jokingly telling the person behind the counter that my friend would "buy my drink" is a foolish way of trying to hit on her, or any girl for that matter. This is, mostly, what brought on the cold response he received. Even so, my friend knew exactly what he was going for, and she knew that any response would be taken completely out of context.

My friend's actions were caused by both the method and intentions of this man. She, nor any other person, should ever feel the need to ignore someone for simply talking, because in the end, it remains exactly that. Conversation is productive in many different ways, and decency holds that when someone speaks to another the other responds. It's the same in this instance: had my friend responded, it should have remained only what it was. For this guy, it probably would have been taken as more, and that is an unnecessary error.

This is at least what I have taken away from my experiences. And because I have observed situations like this, I have to assume other people have, as well. I guess what I am saying is, in the end, we should never try to read too far into any interaction. It is easy to get lost when we try to interpret things based on what we feel and want. I would hate for that to interrupt any ability we have in casually talking with one another.