Grylls survival contains little reality

When it comes to television, I like to consider myself a man of somewhat distinguished tastes. Granted, I do watch my share of cartoons and other juvenile shows; however, the one television show that I must say I am most ashamed of watching has got to be Man vs. Wild.

For those of you lucky enough to have never viewed this annoying informative reality-based show, Man vs. Wild is a show in which Bear Grylls, a British adventurer with some UK Special Forces training, is dropped into some horrible inhospitable location and shows viewers how to survive.

As I said, Man vs. Wild is a show that, if I found myself stranded in the Mohave Desert anytime in the near future, I would have received the information necessary to survive.
However, I think the premise is quite impractical. I can't speak for the rest of Americans, but I rarely find myself in desolate, inhospitable areas due to some unfortunate yachting accident.

For a few reasons, my biggest problem with Bear Grylls and his show is that they are still on the air.

First, Bear Grylls is a maniac with military training and apparently no care for the environments he often destroys while trying to survive. Now, I'm not a "tree hugger" or environmental activist by any stretch of the imagination. However, when I go camping, I do not kill innocent creatures for my sustenance. I have seen Grylls bite the head off of a squid, eat the eyeballs of a fish, snack on the carcass of an expired zebra and a flurry of other unspeakable atrocities. I, for one, do not enjoy the feeling of nausea that accompanies each episode. Also, I have seen him assemble a makeshift explosive blowing the door off of an abandoned warehouse.

Second, I mentioned the impracticality already, but I think it warrants repeating. How often do viewers find themselves in a situation where they have to survive on a shipwrecked freighter in the middle of the Indian Ocean? I have yet to see a news report where a man has survived in the African Savannah for three days because he just happened to catch that particular episode.

The third, and probably biggest, reason Man vs. Wild should be cancelled is because, going into the sixth season, Bear Grylls seems to be running out environments in which to survive. Case in point, I happened to flip onto the Discovery Channel recently and catch part of an episode in which Bear was dropped into an abandoned warehouse district in urban Europe. I was quite flabbergasted to watch as Grylls took refuge in an overturned car, set elaborate traps to catch rats for dinner and snacked on pigeon eggs, all the while completely overlooking the Motel 6 and Wendy's franchises conveniently located around the corner.

However, despite these reasons and my crippling shame at watching the program, I will continue to tune in to Man vs. Wild as much as possible, for two reasons. The first reason being that it is quite informative and interesting to watch. And the second reason I'll continue to watch is in hope of catching an episode in which Bear Grylls dives into the Pacific Ocean from a helicopter and then a narrator will come on to say that he was "never seen or heard from again."